Well where to start??? My dad seems to be going through that cliched "my baby girl is growing up" phase he has taken to hugging me randomly or trying to hold my hand as if I were a child. I am 17 years old and legally allowed to leave home and he wants to baby me. grrrrrrr.
Then there is my mother who is my rock who I can turn to at anytime and has always been completely wonderful and she always will be but she is also every one else's rock and when I say everyone I mean it. She teaches in a p-12 school with a kinder and has just taken on the head job, two weeks ago, and we have hardly seen her since. Anyone who has or has ever had anything to do with the school views themselves as entitled to call her at any time day or night so it is like she comes home and we exchange hellos and then she is at work again as soon as the phone rings. I may just be selfish but it annoys me that I have to share my rock, confidant and mother with at least 500 other people who have a problem.
Then of course there is the fact that I am doing year 12 a.k.a vce this year and I can never leave the organising of the house and families daily life alone long enough to get in a good study session. Okay I know I am not supposed to boss my brother or ensure the dishes and washing are done but it is so much easier to do it that way than wait for my father to come and yell at us about how lazy we are and find myself apologising with almost every breath. Then there is always that thing I forgot like to pick up the cup from the coffee table or to put the leftovers in the fridge which my father or mother will find and complain about and I find myself apologising anyway. By the time I get to studying I am exhausted and annoyed and I can't concentrate. It would be easier to just move out and away from the stress but I can't afford that or the time away from study it would take to afford it.
Then there are my wonderful school friends who I love to death and am willing to listen to at anytime and sort out there dilemmas but who fail to believe me when I talk about my feelings or commitment to my to bf as they believe I am too young, I mean they have never shown any optimism or confidence in my ability to commit to a relationship. Yet they will hardly question my advice so they must have some confidence in my ability to analyse a relationship and judge its chances and its potential for success. Then there are all those times I am amazed by their total lack of confidence in themselves when they turn and ask if I will talk to that guy for them or ask if such and such can go to or they will show a lack of reason by inviting everyone in the class for fear of offending the half of the class who they have never even spoken to.
Then there are the times my friends lapse into the stereo typed insanity of being oh so 'fat' and having a 'terrible complexion' it is so irritating listening to my incredibly beautiful and intelligent friends pull apart there own body and pick at in order to get approval or reassurance of their own worth.
is this not the face of a man who has an inaight into life?
